Feeling kind of depressed lately mainly due to my work. Not in a mood to post anything on Steemit, but sometimes I still visit to check the latest articles.
But the Steem price trend lately makes me feel worse. I am too old here to say that price doesn’t matter. Price does matter. It’s not like if we care about Steem prices and we are greedy or want to earn easy money. The level of Steem price actually represents much more than just price. Besides, so what if we want to earn from investing on Steem? Donating to charity doesn’t make you a forever nice guy and speculation is an inevitable and necessary part to free market.
Over the past month, I have seen many new comers, having the same dreams that once I had, expressing the opinions that once I said, defending the current status as I once did… Honestly, I don’t know what I believe now and definitely I am not the same firm Steemit believer I was a few months, or even one month ago. I still love the concept, yeah, now I can only say concept, and that’s why I am still here, hoping to get my confidence back.
Maybe it was my fault to be overly optimistic about everything and was my fault to get emotionally attached to this platform. I did invest some bucks, but a bad investment won’t bring you so much negative feelings. I guess it might be the real investment that I poured in - my time, my passion and my beliefs. That’s what a downward going price trend hurts the most - you were not right, this was not worth your time - that’s what that number is telling me…
I did learn so much here and do make many new friends here - I have said this many times. So, in a way, my investment wasn’t too bad. But voices from devil in my head will tell me: you could’ve ‘learnt’ these from elsewhere and God knows how many friends you can keep if these should all go down… The bottom line is that I do not have passions at the moment. Like after I decided to write this post and saw there is an new change to payout options, the old me would get excited and go make a new post telling everyone, but now I don’t even care what it is. By the way, apology to those who followed my advice in “It is time to select 100% SP” post - I am wrong obviously.
The final trigger to get me to write this one is… I scrolled down my own blog and tried to relive the initial moments of my experience here. I read this one, a zero payout post,
Steemit is mysterious … my one-week wrap-up
I am so toughed by me three months ago … like a kid with a new toy and keeps checking it out… nothing negative and only joys. How I wish to tell him to keep a distance with this platform - read and learn, but don’t get emotionally attached. I thought I would feel happier reading my old post and I did feel better, but one discovery made me sad again: I checked the current status of those who were relevant in this post: @johnsmith , whose post were cited in my post, gone for one month… @fiveboringgames , who commented on my post, gone for two months except one post one month ago… only @liberosist , whose also commented, is still around and active. I even checked all the 9 voters, only 2 (including @liberosist ) are still active within one month.
This post is for documenting my feelings at the moment only. It is not my intention to argue anything, distribution, whales, beta mode, not even Steem price. It is also not my intention to make people here depressed - I am still grateful for the existence of Steemit and still admires so many great people here trying to make great things happen.
To echo that old post … The title for this one should actually be:
Steemit is still mysterious and could harm your inner peace… after four months’ journey
Now I won’t say Steem on anymore. Instead I will say… Just be happy, Steemit… or not.
This page is synchronized from the post: ‘Looking back, Feeling sad.’